This Was A Mistake.

Last night I was quite happy with getting to bed around 10:30pm, but apparently I didn't want a good night's rest because I spent the next 2 hours YouTubing everything from Thousand Foot Krutch's Breathe You In Acoustic to very unknown teenage hardcore artists flaunting what they may or may not have and I eventually landed at Billy Ray Cyrus' Achy Breaky Heart which made me laugh myself to sleep. Unfortunately, before I found the handsome Billy Ray in the old video, I had an epic silent breakdown in my room.

That breakdown was due to Breathe You In. That song always gets to me. I realized how lost I am in my faith and even though "I try so hard to not walk away," or I try so hard to convince myself of what I know I believe. I don't know if an outsider of my mind can get around that sentence, but thats pretty much how I feel as well. I doubt my faith and faith in general all the time. It's ridiculous. So whenever I hear that song after not listening to it for awhile, it hits me. I just want my faith. I want to "breathe You in." For awhile, I'm back to where I should be; faith-wise. I yearn for it. And every time I pray that this is the time I stay on track- then I get derailed within the next month or two. I'm so predictable. So if anyone is out there reading this, could you do me a favor and please pray for me. It seems selfish, yes, but the sooner I get over my problems then the sooner I can focus on helping others with their faith instead of feeling like a coward.

Wow. Emotion.

It's probably from visiting Chelsey's college so much. She goes to a christian college and everything they do there sounds incredible. It makes me jealous, but so honestly happy for her to be in that environment that I can partake in once in awhile. =)

This morning I woke up to a dog whimpering and randomly barking around 7:30am. I opened my eyes and looked around to my amusement that it was my roommate's Uncle's dog, Beau. He was on the deck, which is right outside my window, and all I can remember seeing is his head in the bottom of my window. Who knows how or why he was barking at me sleeping in my room, but I stared at him and eventually said, "Hi, Beau." He then erupted in barks and I don't remember what happened to him after that because all I can recall is throwing myself back down and tweeting about it, hoping I wasn't fully awake yet.

I have just spent an hour messing around, watching YouTube videos, skyping and blogging while I have to finish an assignment for my Reading class tomorrow at 9:30. I hate critiques. Writing something easy on here was way too enticing to ignore. So there you have it. I'm off to finish my work.