Let's Go Take A Drive.

You know that feeling when you see what time it is and all of a sudden decide you want to do something? The adrenaline rushes through your system and you're in hyperactive mode while being ecstatic from the idea that you're going to do something when five minutes ago you were just sitting at home for the night.

I want that. I just realized Where The Wild Things Are is probably showing at midnight and, while I don't necessarily wish to see it so badly, I wanted to get out of here. 30-50 minutes is what I would I need to get to the nearest theatre and to pick up my friends. No problem. We've done this before.

Uh... We have a problem.

I'm home. As in home, home. As in... I am alone. No Chelsey to rescue me. No roommate to laugh pathetically at me and act for a fraction of a second that she cares about the words coming out of my mouth. Nothing. Well... I do have Hugh Grant. I could spend this night like I did last night by staying up until 4am in my bedroom (in a wireless house) watching Music & Lyrics and 2 Weeks Notice while doodling. I must not forget to mention the laughing fit I had when I realized it was indeed 3:30am. Insomnia, anybody?

I'll take one of those.

What I really would enjoy right now would be a midnight drive in my car... to anywhere. I know the country roads and the towns around here. I don't need a bloody map or a GPS. These towns are my home. I have a 50 mile radius that I know nearly by heart in every direction. I miss it. Somedays after school I would take a round trip home by gravel roads and fields. I was so content right then. The world was beautiful, and because of that everything was okay.

Now, I get caught up in the chaos and bustle of thousands of cars in their mechanic routines. My chance to just drive in one direction for miles until I feel like turning around doesn't exist there. I get lost and confused. Therefore I choose not to just drive anymore- up in the cities at least. I feel like I lose a part of myself when I'm cooped up in that apartment. Listening to music on your laptop all day long is not the same or nearly half as good as listening to music through the stereo system of your car on a drive through the country.

I yearn for the weekends when I come home. It's even better when my roommate doesn't hitch a ride. There are no words that can explain how much I need that 4 hour commute every other weekend. It's revitalizing. I feel alive and without a care about being embarrassed with my rocking out to my favorite bands. I sing with my sometimes on/sometimes off voice as loud as I can. I sing with all the emotion I can muster (unless I'm passing a creepy trucker) and I feel a connection with the music in the car.

Music is amazing. Listening to music in a car without any worries... That is even better.

I love being from a small town. The city is wonderful, but my heart belongs here right now.

Have a lovely night. xx

Paranormal Activity Ramble.

Saturday night my roommate's uncle and his partner (the people we share a duplex with) invited us to go along to the showing of Paranormal Activity. Their treat. Of course after seeing the trailer and hearing it was suppose to be this seriously scary shite we agreed to go.

Apparently this movie is in very select and limited theatres, so no one back home is going to be seeing this and it's awesome that we got to. On the way to the theatre we jammed to Michael Jackson in the car and I remembered how much I enjoy Mark and Greg's company. When we got to the theatre we listened to a a verse of so of Ben and then went inside. We ended getting the last four tickets to the showing and if we would have listened to a single verse more of Ben in the car we wouldn't have been able to see it. Perfect timing.

When we got in the theatre it was nearly packed, but there were four seats in the back row of the front section and pretty much in the center. Our timing was amazing. In the process of waiting a theatre lady started barking out orders about cameras, camcorders and phones and as soon as she was done the theatre erupted in laughter.

We saw some trailers for a few horror movies that looked very good and then the movie just started; no introduction, it just started. I have never seen The Blair Witch Project so I don't have anything to compare this documentary-style movie to, but it was cool.

The movie was simply put as horrifying. What was probably the scariest about it was that it was an evil entity doing all of these things that we, as the audience, never saw. There was only evidence of it. I have never watched a horror film and been reduced to tears because of it... until Paranormal Activity. Every time the scene would change into a night/bedroom scene (where all the scary shit happens) I found my eyes welling up and my heart racing. Eventually as the night scenes occurred more often and got worse the tears spilled over. The movie ended abruptly and right after the scene where I absolutely could not look.

Throughout the movie they use a camcorder they bought to document what happens at night. As things started progressing I started mumbling under breath things like, "Don't look at the camera... Please don't look at the camera." That thought of the possessed girl looking at the camera was what threw me off the edge and I was seriously terrified of the idea. As long as I didn't see her looking directly at me, I would be okay. Eventually at the climactic end of the movie I knew it would happen soon- regardless of my begging. The last 3 seconds of the movie consisted of me covering up the part of the screen where her face would be as she apparently (from what my roommate said) looked at the camera, smiled and then her face morphed into something demonic.

If I hadn't blocked out her face, I just might be traumatized from the actress's face. I already have a problem with remembering when she was possessed and said, "I think we're going to be okay, now." Her face was normal then slowly her eyes squinted a bit and she smiled creepily.

After one of the scary scenes we witnessed one woman who had had enough and practically ran out of the theatre. People started laughing and clapping as she did so.

------

This is a day or so later.

I don't know my point about rambling over Paranormal Activity, but I'm not going to put that to waste. So I'm posting this.

Booyah.

Have a lovely night. xx

Backstreet Is So Not Back, Alright?

I'm enjoying my day off and catching up on last night's TV episodes I somehow just forgot to watch. All 4 of them. This morning I watched Private Practice, Grey's Anatomy and just finished watching FlashForward. My next stop is The Office, which was apparently hilarious last night, so I'm saving the best for last.

On my way to watch The Office I stopped by my Hulu queue to see who was on Conan and Jimmy last night. To my complete bewilderment I saw that Backstreet Boys were the musical guest last night on Conan. I about died. I have heard about them getting back together and "creating the music they love to do" again, but I just had to see this.

I was a strict NSYNC fan when I was in Elementary School and would not let myself be torn between the two, but that didn't stop myself from listening and knowing the lyrics by heart. I was and still am a hypocrite. I still enjoy listening to their love ballads on a summer afternoon in the car and shunning them for copying NSYNC, whether they did or not. Like most of us who had the unfortunate lives of growing up in the nineties to boy bands blowing up the music scene, I had to check up on what had happened to them. I should have looked away.

I was trying to control my gawking at the computer screen when I saw that curtain pull away and all four of them were kneeling down. It was then I remembered that these guys are not the Jonas Brothers. These guys don't have instruments to make them look cool or keep them from doing ridiculous choreography. Then it hit me again. What are they going to do? They then started breaking out in their disgustingly choreographed moves. I honestly couldn't control my laughter. I could barely watch it. I did manage to make it out of the room to show my roommate what was happening on my computer screen though. She didn't even know who they were at first (obviously she wasn't hardcore for boy bands like I was back then) and then she died when I told her it was the Backstreet Boys attempting their comeback.

It hurts to think about them, being as old as they are, and still doing a boy band type of thing. I totally respect them for doing what they love though, especially after it's not cool anymore, serious props to them, but I wish they wouldn't have done this. I wonder who they think their audience is now. Is it girls like me? Girls that grew up on them and are now in their late teens/early twenties, or girls that were my age when they were big? We're all about ten years older now! I think we should just leave this all behind us and remember what it was like and not be able to witness it again. We don't need the Backstreet Boys to come back and make us ask ourselves, "What the hell were we thinking? Gosh, tween girls really will listen to anything..." We want to remember it with good thoughts and not being completely ashamed of our love for nineties boy bands.

So thats what I think. It was a weird thing seeing them back. I wish them the best of luck at whatever their doing, but I will not be following it.

Have a lovely day. xx

Shall We Call It Confidence?

I guess we can call it whatever we want!

I doubt that would be what I'm feeling now, but it's close to it. I feel completely fine for the first time in weeks. Yes, I have homework and midterms looming the coming weeks, but for now; for tonight... I'm just fine. I'm listening to some amazing music by one of my favorite bands, House of Heroes, and dwelling on everything else that should be making me happy right now. Why doesn't this tactic work on me every other week when I'm freaking out about how the world hates me?

Tomorrow is my Friday. I have my easy-peasy math class and then I have to sit through a film in Cinema History, which I think I will respect. I hate sitting for that long in a classroom, but c'mon, I get to watch a movie every week of class! How great is that? For my midterm I have to pick a silent film and analyze it in at least 6 pages. Analyzing! That's honestly like, "Hey! Pick out some random thing you think could be symbolization or what you liked about the acting and talk relentlessly about it!" Why am I not more grateful for these kinds of things?

Why am I always stuck on the negative? Maybe today is like a breakthrough for me or something, but life is good. I get over that ridiculous crush on a boy I didn't even know (turns out he's not the most thoughtful) and all of a sudden it stops raining and the sun shines for the first time in weeks! Literally, the sun broke through today and it was amazing. I feel like I should be typing this in a park and smiling wildly up at the sky with happiness, but really I'm just on our couch late at night... And I am perfectly fine with that. My happiness is almost making me sick. It's not necessarily happiness as much as peace. I'm calm right now. No freaking out about cars, boys, school, money or lack of food. Everything is alright.

I can't get over how soothing this is. It feels so good to be okay. To have stuff taken away and realize... thats fine, I still have this other thing. I love being happy. I love how music has such a big impact on my mood too. Seriously, the past week I've been listening to Silverstein melodically screaming in my ears and numbing me, but today... Today I listened to Family Force 5 and House of Heroes and I'm not numb anymore. I'm alive. It's incredible. They both make me so ridiculously happy.

I am an incredibly selfish person. I know this. I actually only realized this a year or so ago, but when I did I almost completely shut down because I felt so ashamed of it. The reason I love blogging (even though no one reads this) is because I love telling my story. I love writing/typing what I wish I could say to the world. Maybe that part isn't selfish because this is the one outlet I have to truly set my thoughts straight, but other than that, I think I just love blabbing away. I'm not very good with talking to people because I don't ask them questions. That comes across as selfish when they're the only one's asking questions, but really I have no idea at all how to keep a conversation going.

Anyway, it's things like this that I realize through this blog. This is overall making me a better person by seeing what's going through my mind put out there for people to read without all the other muck I write in my journal that pretty much ends up as, "oh my gosh, i love music so much. seriously. love. and that guy from the band i can't remember was so amazing. seriously. amazing." Well, I might still sound like that, but this has more structure than that. What I need is structure.

Structure and respect. I need to respect the world and people around me more. Maybe if I did that I would get a hell of a lot more out of it. Maybe if I stopped acting stand-offish people wouldn't stay away. I need to respect myself as well. That one needs some serious work, but I'm getting there.

It's days like this that keep me pushing forward to being the happy, lively and religious person I want to be. I want nothing more than to share this feeling with everyone around me, I just don't understand how to do that yet. A majority of my friends have that figured out quite well, but I'm just a bit different.

I look forward to many more days like this. This is absolutely amazing.

Have a lovely night. xx

Bumming Everywhere.

Hola!

I'm bumming today. Just like I did yesterday... and a few days last week. I'm going to have to force myself to do some serious homework tonight or tomorrow night. So right now I'm exploring music I haven't listened to a lot and probably should have. Artists like nevershoutnever and Silverstein. Yeah, just those two for now. I have forgotten how wonderful myspace is for listening to music without buying it!

Other than music I'm catching up on hulu stuff like Private Practice, Ten Things I Hate About You and last night's SNL with the lovely Ryan Reynolds. So I naturally think that episode was quite funny! Some parts were a bit off to me, but overall I have seen worse SNL. It's weird to think of what SNL would be like if Andy Samberg wasn't there.

It is now a day later than the paragraphs I typed above. I was sitting in the building I normally do while waiting for Kris' class to finish, but I needed a new atmostphere... so here I am sitting in the Piccadilly Circus of campus. Seriously. If you're going anywhere at some point- you're going through here first. So I though this would be a good place to sit and people watch while I wait. It gets boring sitting in the same chairs day after day and seeing the same weird faces. I think it would be smart of me to come out here more often.

I am currently sitting Indian style on the floor betwixt the two skyways and across from the elevators... this causes for an amazingly dynamic view. I just saw a girl from my History of Photography class. It's the girl that is genuinely pretty and the euro-haired man stares relentlessly at. Anyway, it's really amusing to see everyone's faces as the elevator door closes. It's a whole lot of disgust or indifference. No one likes to shove into an elevator with ten other people and you have the people that deal with it and then those that can't.

Currently I am watching my dose of Family Guy. I just hope I can handle this without cracking up and making a fool of myself. Quagmire just found out about internet porn in this episode. I've already almost lost my composure- it doesn't help that Peter is currently serenading a cardboard cutout of a swimsuit model right now. This is very difficult... I'm almost losing it. I think I'm going to continue doing this just as a competition with myself.

I wish I could give a play by play of this episode. This is hilarious. Now there is a campus cop dude standing a few feet away from me and I'm a bit self conscious of watching Family Guy and blogging at the same time while this guy is just standing here. So I think.... that man that just walked by was incredible. Hem... anyway. I actually think I'm going to head out. Focus my attention on Family Guy.

Dance Rawr Dance III.

My Skelanimals Scavenger Hunt was a mess, and my roommate is being hard to deal with.

There you have it.

This past weekend was a mess. I went home Thursday for an eye appointment Friday morning where I had my eyes dilated and suffered through an annoying half an hour with a doctor (not mine) who literally speaks like a doctor would. Her voice was drawly and every thing was connected, weird and made me want to pull out her braces. Luckily, it was cloudy out so there wasn't a need for me to wear eye protection.

Another reason I really wanted to go home was to get new jeans, which I needed with a passion. So, Saturday my mum and I went to Rochester to buy some. We ended up buying around $200 worth of food for my roommate and I. That was awesome. I still need a job so badly.

Chelsey stayed over Saturday night and she had to go to a Greek Orthodox church the next morning for class and we joined her. It was so different. It was so ornate and most of the people there looked very Greek. It was cool. Their liturgies were sooo long though, but the amazing smell of the incense was enough for me to not be bothered by any length. The tones that they use to speak in is very different though. It's really hard to understand what's going on because the tone is distracting and kind of hard to understand.

After that we enjoyed a few episodes of Jonas (my mom bought me the first season-because she can) and later we went out to Target for the Scavenger Hunt.

Here is where I begin to feel like a failure.

I was suppose to be at Target by 1:45 and I was there just before 2:00. Chelsey and I didn't exactly know what my roommate's plan was until about 1:45 when we ran around getting Che's stuff packed up. We walk into Target and find the Halloween section and we see 3 people sitting down by the candy. We walked up to them and I asked if they were there for the tickets/meet and greets. They just stared at us with suspicious faces and didn't say a word. I had to say that I had the tickets/meet and greets in order for them to chillax. It was awkward, but funny and they were very happy to get them. I was also incredibly happy that they actually looked cool too! Some of the other Skelanimal winners looked a bit... frumpy. At this point I had no idea what to do. We were suppose to be the ones waiting- not the winners! They were waiting for more than an hour. So I went and sent a picture to the number I was suppose to anyway, but they never launched the Scavenger Hunt on twitter. It would have been difficult to do so without a purpose, but I still felt like it was all my fault. I felt like I honestly failed Family Force 5 and my duty toward the Skelanimal Scavenger Hunt.

We waited outside the venue for 2 hours until we were taken inside before the doors opened for our meet and greets. The winners were really awesome and cool and we were all kind of silently wigging out because we were going to meet FF5. There was one thing that sucked. It was so structured. A guy came up to us and told us "this was gonna happen and then this and that ...and then you guys can chill in here until the doors open." That was a bummer. Less personal than I was hoping for, but still awesome. Crouton was wigging out on caffeine and

I was so honestly amused by it all. He was dancing around like a lunatic... a sexy, hilarious, amazing-drummer lunatic. They ended up signing my shoes and 2 other girls' shoes and 2 peoples' arms. No one was prepared.

So we chilled and five minutes before doors we claimed our spot at center stage. When the doors did open we were bombarded by some of the most annoying girls in the history of concerts. I may never go back to another concert with those type of bands because of the girls. I don't mind touching and shoving and arms everywhere, but if you are quite obviously in someone's space you don't need to be in- that is too much. Some girl had to elbow into my neck enough that I couldn't turn my head to the left. I ignored it for awhile because I figured she'd move it after awhile. I was wrong. It eventually took me 3 tries at the elbow removal for her to get the bloody picture. Even after that there was nothing I could do to stop the screams of I LOVE YOU, (insert name here) to any one of the guys from the bands that was slightly good looking. I also think I've gotten over the wanting to touch the band members as well. These girls had their arms strectched out for entire songs just to touch the lead singer 10 times in one show. Why? Why???? Touching him will not make all your dreams true, children. You're just touching one more sweaty person than you were before.

The one thing I live for now is the eye contact. That is my favorite part of any concert. When you make that eye contact of true admiration and its like a mutual respect situation. You respect the hell out of them for making and performing such amazing music and they respect you for enduring the bruises, limited breathing/moving room and still managing to dance while screaming out their lyrics. It is love out there.

So anyway, the concerts we awesome. I just kind of got through I-Rival and Queen's Club and by then if I would have allowed myself to close my eyes and sleep- I probably would have. I was so drained. Then Cash Cash came out and I dealt with the screaming girls and enjoyed their music very much. Next was Breathe Carolina. I haven't stopped listening to them since the night of the concert. I found one of my deepest loves that night. If you don't know who Breathe Carolina is, they are a band with 2 vocals; one mainly sings and the other screams and does other singing. They're like techno with a screamo twist- it's awesome. They're show didn't really include the stage lighting, it was just their lights and laser things so I wasn't distracted by them and was honestly inlove with the music. I realized yesterday that the singer is completely adorable. He's not "oh my gosh so hawt," he's just so freaking cute. Moving on...

Family Force 5 blew my mind away on the tiny tiny stage. They party in their concerts and I love that. I nearly touched Soul Glow's crotch, which was awkward, but I pulled my hand down quickly. I avoided the "party foul." Hah. I alluded to FF5.

Amidst Cash Cash I actually realized some asshole's gum was in my hair. So that was fun. After FF5 we were soaked. It was so sweaty in there and when we went outside it was cold and raining. Perfect. I drove in circles shivering and trying to see through the rain until I finally found the exit and went home to listen to Breathe Carolina. =)

I started typing this two days ago and had to go to class and since then it's been sitting there on my dock begging to be finished. So I'm probably forgetting a lot, but it's probably better that way.

So I'll say goodbye for now, then.

Concert & Almost Dying.

I sit here trying to start a blog about last night while watching To Wong Foo Thank for Everything, Julie Newmar in which Patrick Swayze, John Leguizamo and Wesley Snipes are all drag queens and I'm trying to remain composed. It's so distracting.

It was overall a good movie though.

So! Last night was incredible. We had a bit of a problem with some girls who were obnoxious, bratty and only there for House of Heroes. I can understand that, yes, but they could have at least acted like they were enjoying hearing some new music. If you're in the front, you're there to party/rock out regardless of who you originally there for. I love going to concerts because I get to listen to new music and find new bands I didn't know of before as well as listen to bands I love. Here are some pictures from last night...

Club 3 Degrees.

Bassist of Hyland.

Adam of The Wedding.

Tim of House of Heroes.

With Tim. =)

Tim Skipper is an absolutely gentlemen. He is one of the nicest and most sincere guys/band members I have ever met. Some people from bands are kind of off somewhere else and it seems like they're floating through the signings and meeting people. It's always awkward too, but with Tim its so easy. We've met him before- 3 years ago at Sonshine.

And we were too star struck with him then to actually say more than answer the simple normal questions he asked us. So last night we talked to him for a good 5 minutes or more and then watched him skip off to meet his friend who was at the show. It was cute. I want to meet a guy like Tim Skipper. Honestly. He made my night by just being amazingly kind to everyone he talked to.

So after the concert we headed out and I asked Kris to drive because I really didn't want to. Yeah, I shouldn't have done that. The directions we had were crap and then since she really doesn't have common sense she didn't turn where she could've/should've and we got lost. In the process we were at an intersection and in the middle lane to go straight. She decided to turn right last second and didn't look to see if anyone was coming. There was a huge pickup truck in the right lane. It was honestly centimeters away from killing James and I who were on the passenger side of the vehicle. She doesn't have really good driving/reaction skills outside of basketball. She almost killed us. I have never felt so odd in my life. I was so upset, thankful and scared. Most of all I felt saved. Being so close to certain pain and possibly death and then being free of it. It hit me deep. I during Abandon Kansas they played Amazing Grace and I'm pretty sure, but not positive, I asked God to show me something; show me Him. It may be odd, but I took that as I sign. My life could have been gone just. like. that. Yet, here I sit. Alive.

Now what do I do with that?

Praise Him in all we think, say and do.

We live to glorify God. - I tend to forget that a lot, and it's about time I remember.

Here's To A Good Weekend.

Yesterday I drove an hour and a half to University of Wisconsin Stout to pick up Marissa. We then drove back amidst the traffic AND construction, but it was fun. Later we ended up driving to St. Paul and picking up James and headed back to hang out here.

It took us around 2 hours to actually put in A Knights Tale, which James wanted to watch. In that two hours we watched the newest episode of The Office, YouTube videos of animals with human voices, and just screwed around in general. We barely watched the movie. Everyone continued to mess around on the laptops and when James found out I had a Snuggie it got a little crazy. After the movie was done James was completely out of it. He was tired and mumbling. We ended up YouTubing 70's porn music and sex toy websites from there. Kris(my roommate), Marissa and I were laughing at all the names and disturbing gizmos with James randomly laughing or moaning from the ridiculousness of us. We ended up watching a video from a couple years ago and I ended up in tears from laughing so hard. It was like I was actually crying. I have never laughed and cried like that before. It was insane.

Marissa and James ended up hitting each other until they fell asleep and woke up hitting each other as well. Yesterday Marissa repeatedly sang "I hate everyone" and I ended up doing the same. So last night in my dream we must have went to a Say Anything concert and afterward I pretty much hung out with Max Bemis for hours. It was one of the best dreams ever. I woke up to Saw 1 being played in the living room.

So tonight we're all going to Club 3 Degrees to a concert with Hyland, Abandon Kansas, The Wedding and House of Heroes.

Overall I realized how much I love these people. There are few people that I will be staying in contact with from high school and it will include these crazy people.

That is all. Off to listen to more Say Anything and prepare to have my face rocked off by The Wedding tonight. =)

Confessions and Dreams.

It's actually only one dream... and one confession. So it's good news for you.

Last night or this morning I had a crazy dream.

It started off with me wanting to be in this apparently cool group with some friends. We were driving stealthily down the highway in some 4-wheeler-like contraption and I was under the belief they were illegal. I saw a cop and Connie said, "After six o'clock they're illegal..." It was about 4 minutes or less to six. We zoomed past the cop and through hills and whatnot. So, since I wanted to join their posse/gang I had to go through some preliminary things. Part of it was a journey to get somewhere, but apparently people either in the clan/posse/gang or in a rival one didn't want me to survive and see the day I became a part of it. So I was being manhunted. At some point I realized my fingers on my left hand were stuck and when I looked down I saw I had staples either in or around my knuckles to keep me from out stretching my fingers. Naturally, I decided to try and outstretch them anyway and didn't feel pain as much as the feeling of a staple dragging through and cutting my skin. But that part was alright with me. I had to wear a yellow/orange colored swimsuit and eventually that had to be covered up so I wouldn't be caught by the people who wanted me dead. I put on a purple swimsuit over it... inside out. Which, obviously, causes a problem later or else I wouldn't have noticed it. Along the journey to this place I had to get to, my future gang/posse/clan continued to ask me how excited I was for the tiara... which I had visions of. This tiara was gained after you join... and that is, guess what, stapled to your head! Who would have thought the staples would come back into play! Eventually someone noticed my orange/yellow suit under the purple (because it was inside out) and I eventually realized that I didn't have to put up with this. I stopped and chose to not be apart of their group. They let me go! I then woke up.

It's funny to get this all out of my head and realized where all the ideas came from...

The Cop - I saw a cop parked on my way to class. (It was parked similar in my dream.)

The Stapler - I bought this new awesome mini power stapler recently.

Connie - She's been updating stuff on facebook a lot lately... I see new things everyday.

Six O'clock - My roommate told me something about the stoplights at the ramps to the highways turn off around 6.

The Swimsuits - I watched Stick It. Their outfits where different colors and one was orange and yellow. In a different part of the movie she had to get a new one and thats is where I think i got the idea from.

Thats all I can figure out.

This made me realize that after years of denying it and months of being on the brink of it... I do in fact finally love Miley Cyrus. It was that performance on Divas with Sheryl Crow (whom I hate) that I finally realized what happened in those 4 minutes. I did have respect for her before, but not anything like this. She's just awesome.

The Kelly Clarkson and Melissa Ethridge song was awesome as well. Kelly is ridiculously amazing. I love seeing her jumping around, rocking out and doing what she loves despite what people say about her. She's an incredible singer. More love to go around, I guess!

I have no class tomorrow, so I have no problem staying up to type this! I actually plan on reading after this as well. I'm finally reading Eragon. I started it about a year ago, but stopped. Now I'm determined to read it... and the next 2 books in the trilogy. Woo!

I'm still psyched for Family Force 5, but right now I'm more excited to see what my gift is than anything! Selfish yes, but after I get mine then I'm going to be pumped to give away tickets to someone! It's going to be fun. I have a feeling I'm going to repeat myself about that so many times in the next week.

Parting question: Why does Leona Lewis have blonde hair? It's like an very very light brown. It looks odd.

KTHXBAI

The Happiest Girl.

You cannot fathom my happiness at the moment.

I don't care about school or the world or anything! All I care about is being a FAMILY FORCE 5 CLUE HIDER in Minneapolis for the DanceRawrDance3 Tour!!

After my missing class this morning I emailed my prof my assignment in case she would accept an excuse of a flat tire (which happened 2 weeks ago today). So I was dreading opening my email. I opened my inbox to find this....

My heart stopped.

I never win anything and being chosen for this... is incredible. I was POSITIVE I wasn't going to be chosen because it was "first come, first serve" basis and some chick had written in a comment under the blog post "minneapolis :)." After that I was really frustrated, but got over it. So, voila. I get two meet and greet passes. I'm going to faint, choke up, fall over... pretty much anything you can think of. I'm getting knots in my stomach just imagining meeting Family Force 5.

Just. Wow.

I'll write more about it after it happens, obviously. This is awesome. I am seriously the happiest girl in Minneapolis right now. They'll send me the tickets and passes that I'm giving away to the person who finds me as well as my 2 meet and greet passes. They're also sending me a "special completely exclusive gift" for helping them. As if meeting them wouldn't be enough for me! This is heaven on earth. This is love.

If you have never heard or heard of Family Force 5 before then I encourage you to do so! Don't let anything stop you from at least listening to them. They are a fun-loving band with an amazing stage performance. Go check out one of DRD3 tour dates.

Go see for yourself.

Spread the FF5 love. =)

Waiting For Class.

I'm sitting here in these nasty chairs on the 3rd floor of the Kopp building waiting for my math class. I just met John, here who is in my math class as well. He commented on the chairs, introduced himself and sat rather close with his foot on the same table as my feet. I just realized, or remembered, how horrible I am with meeting new people or talking to people in general. I can never say the right thing. I meet my favorite band- I choke up and say, "Hi," "Good" and, "Thank you" all in the same high pitched voice that does not belong to me. I go to the checkout at Zumiez- they ask "What's up?" and I reply, "Good." I've got some verbal/vocal problem.

I have no problem if the other person is more talkative than I am, but you cannot expect me to start or keep a conversation going. It's sad. So that's why I sit here, on my laptop with earbuds in. So people don't bother me and I don't have to make a fool of myself. Voila. I'm isolating myself from the world!

(insert 5 minutes of painful things.)

I went to check facebook, because I'm like that, and I saw my friend Simon posted something 7 minutes ago. I checked the chat frantically to see if he was still on. He wasn't. I checked if he poked me. He didn't. It sucks. He doesn't get online very often and usually when he does I hear how he's doing, but not lately. He's fallen out of touch and I don't want to let go. I sincerely miss talking to him. I can't call him because he lives in London. That's costly.

I also saw a post by TFK about the Creation Fest Tour and went to check the date again- just to make sure. The date for Iowa is no longer listed. You could say I'm crushed. FM Static is touring as well and I've waited so long to hear them and now... it's just taken away from me.

I feel robbed. Robbed of my friendship. Robbed of my music. Robbed of my sanity.

I slept in this morning and missed my once a week reading class. It's ironic that last night I was getting upset that it was half online and half classroom because now I'm thankful for it. I am still upset. I went from an okay mood to spiraling downward.

This. Just. Sucks.

I'm going to my math class now. Live on without me, world.

This Was A Mistake.

Last night I was quite happy with getting to bed around 10:30pm, but apparently I didn't want a good night's rest because I spent the next 2 hours YouTubing everything from Thousand Foot Krutch's Breathe You In Acoustic to very unknown teenage hardcore artists flaunting what they may or may not have and I eventually landed at Billy Ray Cyrus' Achy Breaky Heart which made me laugh myself to sleep. Unfortunately, before I found the handsome Billy Ray in the old video, I had an epic silent breakdown in my room.

That breakdown was due to Breathe You In. That song always gets to me. I realized how lost I am in my faith and even though "I try so hard to not walk away," or I try so hard to convince myself of what I know I believe. I don't know if an outsider of my mind can get around that sentence, but thats pretty much how I feel as well. I doubt my faith and faith in general all the time. It's ridiculous. So whenever I hear that song after not listening to it for awhile, it hits me. I just want my faith. I want to "breathe You in." For awhile, I'm back to where I should be; faith-wise. I yearn for it. And every time I pray that this is the time I stay on track- then I get derailed within the next month or two. I'm so predictable. So if anyone is out there reading this, could you do me a favor and please pray for me. It seems selfish, yes, but the sooner I get over my problems then the sooner I can focus on helping others with their faith instead of feeling like a coward.

Wow. Emotion.

It's probably from visiting Chelsey's college so much. She goes to a christian college and everything they do there sounds incredible. It makes me jealous, but so honestly happy for her to be in that environment that I can partake in once in awhile. =)

This morning I woke up to a dog whimpering and randomly barking around 7:30am. I opened my eyes and looked around to my amusement that it was my roommate's Uncle's dog, Beau. He was on the deck, which is right outside my window, and all I can remember seeing is his head in the bottom of my window. Who knows how or why he was barking at me sleeping in my room, but I stared at him and eventually said, "Hi, Beau." He then erupted in barks and I don't remember what happened to him after that because all I can recall is throwing myself back down and tweeting about it, hoping I wasn't fully awake yet.

I have just spent an hour messing around, watching YouTube videos, skyping and blogging while I have to finish an assignment for my Reading class tomorrow at 9:30. I hate critiques. Writing something easy on here was way too enticing to ignore. So there you have it. I'm off to finish my work.

Max Bemis, Headaches and Senior Year.

My friend, Marissa, who goes to Stout in Wisconsin and I bought our tickets for a Say Anything concert at Station 4 in St. Paul on October 22. =) This will be our first time seeing the lovely Max Bemis IRL. It's going to be insane. I might just have a heart attack. It hit me (after I paid ten dollars more than the actual ticket cost for my ticket on ticket master) that we're going to see Max Bemis. We're going to see Say Anything. It's set in stone and that is an amazing feeling.

On Friday I will be leaving to go pick up Marissa from Stout, which is about 1.5 hrs away. The reason for that would be that we're going to see House of Heroes and The Wedding at Club 3 Degrees! I haven't seen HOH since they came out with their new album. They usually stick to shows on the East Coast. Their new album is incredible. They have a Beatle-esque sound to their new album plus a traditional rock and roll sound. So I am down right pumped. The Wedding is going to be crazy as well- they put on one of the best shows I have ever seen. After seeing Family Force 5, their title is threatened, yes, but I still love them to death. Overall, I'm psyched.

I have been using the same pair of contacts for more than a couple months. My eyes are killing me. I hate losing track of time. It's this horrible pain thats just ebbing on/in/behind my eyes. You never want your eyes to feel like this. It's hell.

I hear everyone saying that senior year of high school was the time of their life and that they never want to forget senior year. I would love for senior year to not exist in my memory. In included depression, losing friends, making mistakes, choosing the wrong college and a whole lot of taking the easy way out. My senior year was shit. It was ridiculous. It would do me a lot of good to forget those few months of my life.

---edit.sept.15.2009---

I just realized how there are NO transitions between my subjects and its just bam. bam. bam. done. I don't like it so much. I just want anyone out there who may read this to know that ... I am aware of how bad a writer I am. I'm even embracing it with my jumping subjects. Score.

Out of Order.

This is a blog pretty much about Wednesday this week.

As you may have read, or not, Wednesdays are my busiest day of the week. My main problem with Wednesdays is that once I get home from a regular day of class- I have to go back. Night classes are not so much fun when you are perfectly capable of taking it earlier. If only I had registered earlier. Oh well. I was sitting by a girl from my presentation group, Sarah, in the back corner of the class pretty much. I had an amazing view of all the good looking men in the class I was afraid to raise my eyes to 2 weeks earlier.

There is one boy who is a Digital Design??...something like that major... with Euro hair. He is scrumptious. Then he went and hacked off half of his hair. He still looks lovely; the amazing Euro hair is just at half mast, I guess you could say.

Another guy is a dark-skinned, long-dark-haired, sweet looking guy. By sweet I actually do mean, aww-sweet, not wicked-sweet and his long hair is perfectly kept in a pony in the back which makes him look hawaiian. He actually looks like if he ripped off his plaid shirt he could be waving a palm leaf fan in a cabana somewhere in the tropics. He's a photography major, I believe, so I may be seeing more of him around.

There is a new guy in class who looked so lost at the beginning of class, but settled right in and made the first hour of class go by so much faster. It helps that he's cute. I saw him staring at the girls next to me though, which is okay. I'm no looker. =/

Lastly, I don't want to say this, but there is an older gentleman in the class who may be in his thirties. His hair and face remind me of the lovely Danny Jones of McFly. I stare at him sometimes, then feel awkward and quit.

One thing I hate about college is the realization that I was getting used to the fact that more people smoked than I thought 2 years ago, but that has been completely thrown out the window the last month. I can't tell you how many people I see whip out a cigarette while on break in class, or how many people come into class reeking of tobacco. It's disgusting.

Anyway, that would be it. I've accomplished my duty of hogging MY computer all day. It's been fun. We shall do this again when someone pisses me off. =)

Not Happy.

I am feeling depressed.

That is really all that I can manage to throw out there.

I'm easily annoyed by my roommate for the past week. That may be due to the fact she challenges all that comes out of my mouth and in a way you could say she treats me like a child. Last night we had our friend over and I managed to spill food everywhere around 12:30am. My friend was watching while I did it, so naturally I laughed loudly (we were physically exhausted from attending a concert) and just kind of broke down. My roommate proceeded to yell at me like we were back in middle/high school and told me to be quiet because the people we're rooming over (her uncle and partner) were sleeping. The thing is, it was a friday night and they barely even go to bed earlier than 12 or 1 on a weekday. Give it a bloody rest. Then I wanted them to start watching the movie while I was cleaning up because I had already seen it, but my roommate would have none of that. So I sat. My friend explained the spilled food and my roommate started saying that I could clean the entire apartment next time. Fuck. 1. No one asked/told her to clean. She was bored. She cleaned because of the friend visiting. 2. She can ask me to clean. I will clean when it needs to be or if someone asks me, but I do not go along nicely with someone saying it like I deserved a punishment for being ridiculous and an unhelpful roommate. The menu played over and over for about 5 minutes. I cleaned up the food, walked through the living room, pressed play and went to my room. I needed to de-stress after that. My friend ended up calling my name ten minutes later because they were wondering if I was still awake. I didn't respond and within 5 minutes I was asleep.

I now understand why the say to never go to bed angry. I woke up pretty much still steamingly pissed off.

The Bloody End.

I Am Upset.

I've been waiting for.ev.er for Thousand Foot Krutch's new album to come out. Everyone is raving about how epic it is and how it's the best album they've made to date... and I'm sitting here waiting for class without the CD. I'm crushed. I didn't realize that Target would be lame and not sell it. So, since I'm not familiar with the area up here I'm using my time to frantically look up a store in the area that will sell me my beloved CD. So far I'm only getting luck at Wal Mart, but theres limited availability in the stores for the album. The only thing is the album came out today and they don't have the product availability online yet! This album is crucial to my well-being in the coming days! They're having their album release concert at my friend's college and we're going to be there! I need that album! Okay, freaking out is over. For Now.

I need to go to class.

I Am So Bored.

I'm home from college.

I am so bored.

I walk around the house aimlessly and eat. I now realize that when I buy my own food, I am more health conscious, but here, I didn't have to buy it. So I really don't care. Here are the current whereabouts of my family members:

Mom: is outside driving a 4wheeler around with a little girl whose mother she knows from work. The little girl is staying here for the weekend. We live on a farm. It's a playground. Apparently.

Father: is where I left him half an hour ago- in front of the TV watching Van Wilder. He sat down and started watching it with me and I then decided I didn't want to be present when the upcoming raunchy scenes showed. Awkward.

Brother: is downstairs playing Country Rock Band on wii. I wanted to go play that, but he got down there first.

Me: I am in the kitchen typing away on the iMac to keep me from eating away my boredom.

Last night I finished the last 30 pages of The Time Traveler's Wife. I cried like a baby. I haven't gotten a good quality cry in since I moved to the cities a month ago and the book just pushed me over the edge. My lip was actually quavering. I have no idea why I couldn't handle it. Maybe the end was so built up to and I absolutely knew that it was going to end the way it did, but even though I knew, I was still hoping for a miracle. There really was nothing that could've stopped it from ending the way it did... and that sucked.

I was considering staying home until monday, but I can't take this boredom any longer. I'm positive I'm leaving tomorrow afternoon. I have my cork board, nails, bookshelf and my last glimpse of the corn before it turns brown and get chopped. I feel like Bailey from The Suite Life on Deck. The Sprouse twins have really grown up in what seems like the last few months, but that's just from my TV watching perspective. They just really don't seem seventeen to me.

Okay, I can't do this anymore. I have to go walk aimlessly some more.

kthxbai.

Rude & Ignorant Diversity.

I would love some money.

Money is the main thing on my mind lately. I need money for parking at school since I decided to drive. I do not wish to figure out the bus route and take that. I'd rather accommodate to my own needs instead of having to accommodate to city bus routes. And in the mean time I am sacrificing 5 dollars a day to park. So therefore I need a parking pass/permit so it is only 2.50.

I think someone just shut the lights off on me. I'm sitting in one of the many random areas to sit and this guy just left and the light shut off. Nope, the sensors just shut it off. I actually liked it dark. I wouldn't mind sitting still for another 15 minutes just to have that peace again.

I'm sorry if this is hard to follow. I'm just bored and so I'm occupying myself on this worthless blog. I guess I do have something to talk about...

My friend and I were sitting here with a few other people around and then this guy comes up listening to his ipod which was blaring Eminem and he sits down 2 seats from me. We could hear every single word of the song. I honestly can't believe some people sometimes. Do some people seriously not have the "polite common sense" trait? You see that a lot when you venture out, I guess, but I never expected the city people to actually confirm what the movies always portrayed of them! A portion of them are rude, ignorant and do whatever they please. I love being from a small town and knowing that there are places that actually exist in harmony where everyone is understanding and kind, but I am surely in for it up here.

That should be about it. I should actually do something productive now. Maybe possibly read The Time Traveler's Wife? That's barely considered productive when I have actual homework to do.

At the moment I'm not bothered.

I Hate Naps.

Hello.

So, I have been living in the cities for about 3 weeks now with the same friend and its weird. I have a weird bond with this friend. Well, I suppose it's weird between me and all of my other friends as well because I'm no touchy girly girl. Anyway- it's just weird. It's a duplex and my friend's uncle lives below us. It's really nice, but it's small and we've been cooped up in this bloody apartment the whole time pretty much. She apparently naps. I hate napping and I also get annoyed at people who nap- which is all of my friends pretty much. So I was minding my business and watching Wizards of Waverly Place and she went to take a nap. So I kind of huffed and puffed to myself and decided to seclude myself on the oh-so-public and easily-noticed-from-a-very-busy-road deck and camp out on my laptop. Now it's a bit awkward because her uncle's partner is mowing the lawn. I'm just glad I'm facing away and have earbuds in so I can avoid unnecessary kind waves, smiles and small talk.

I am done with my first week of classes and thank goodness for that. My classes are as follows:

- MTWH Introductory Algebra

- T H Cinema History

- W College Textbook Reading

- W History of Photography

It's funny and a relief that I'm taking Intro to Alg. because I was in Algebra 3 in high school- too bad I royally sucked at it and that placement test. =) this class should be a breeze. Our class is already past the awkward silence and is on to weird bonding and I love it very much. I also love my math teacher very much- he's not a prof.; just a teacher, but he is absolutely fantastic and loves what he does. It's not hard to tell that he actually cares about our success.

Cinema History teacher is a drag. College Textbook Reading is whatever-ish... besides the awesome guy in it. And my History of Photography teacher is a goob. So weird.

Well... my friend just asked to use my laptop in her sleepy and out of it state... which makes me even more upset. I'm easily grumpy in such situations. Its really nice out, but she'll just get pissy if I don't let her use it.

So I'm off.

Hello College & Commitment.

Long time, no blog.

So I'm sitting here in the lobby at school typing up a blog whilst i wait for my class. I haven't been to this class yet, and I probably should go look for it on the 5th floor. I sincerely doubt that will happen because I have done that every single time I have gone to a new class. Every time I do so i realize that... you just don't do that. I'm always left wandering around for a half an hour getting sweatier and more nervous by the second. So now, I'm determined to wait. Well, at least until twenty minutes to... which is in six minutes. Yeah, the freshman feeling is taking over. I'm packing up and heading out.

That class was overwhelming. It's Reading 1300 and only once a week. So therefore we have to spend a lot of time online doing stuff and our prof just seems to love telling us we have to put in a lot of effort outside of class... which I don't necessarily mind. I just don't want a teacher to tell me that.

Here's a backstory: So Blink-182 are doing their wicked awesome huge band packed tour, right? Well they were in town a week ago and we found out too late and couldn't go. It sucked. So today in Reading we were doing Icebreaker Bingo in class (where you go around and get people to write down their names under something that applies to them) and Jake Miller (whom I was staring curiously at before class because of his clothing and apparent awesomeness) and I met up and he was surprising smiling when we got to each other (which I couldn't help but enjoy thoroughly) and bla bla bla.. signed each others' papers. I usually keep my eyes down when I meet people, but it so happens that he saw I had green eyes. So that's what I signed on his and ....I didn't even look at what he put on mine! (*checks*) Oh my, he plays a musical instrument. =) Moving on. He was wearing a Blink-182 wristband and I asked him if he went. He did. He also waited 12 hours to get front row. THAT, ladies and gentlemen is the kind of commitment I am looking for. To music, that is. That's incredible. Me, I'm willing to do that... more for McFly than anything else, but I'm getting there.

So how is that for a pathetic rambling? I think it's top notch.

By the way, I saw Julie & Julia recently and it made me miss writing whatever I wanted to on here. So I'm going to continue it- whether anyone reads it or not. =)

THAT, my friends, is commitment.

=)

Goodbye High School

So I'm not graduating with honors because my Algebra III grade lowered my GPA to an sickening 3.4 something. I've never been more embarrassed in my life. I couldn't sit there at the awards banquet waiting for scholarships I knew I wouldn't get after I watched all my friends and people I hated get the golden cords to wear on graduation day.

I figured later, in the truck, while staring at my two pathetic scholarships (one of which I'm almost touched by... explanation later) that I really should have driven separate from my parents. My temper was flaring and I was embarrassed, so naturally I wanted to bawl like a little girl. I couldn't take my eyes off my phone the entire 20 minute drive home.  I was texting my friend like a madwoman just to keep my mind off of how lame I had ended up as a person.

I received two local scholarships. One was a memorial of a past art teacher in our school district.  I didn't understand why I had received that scholarship until I looked over the plaque (that resides on some wall somewhere in the school, but I get dibs on it for my open house) and realized the past two years it went to creative students: graphic design and interior design majors. So that was the point I remembered that I had written my essay on why I chose my possible major, photography. Although I was probably the only art-minded senior who applied for the scholarships, I still got a wave of gratitude towards the man's wife.  She gave me a card, which I later put on my wall, it says something along the lines of dreaming what you want to become.  I really can't remember, but it was touching.

Moving on.

I figure this blog is just for me anyway. I don't care if no one reads it.  I need to be able to read it later.  It takes too long to write with a descriptive mind like mine.

So last night we saw the midnight showing of Terminator Salvation.  I never saw a Terminator previous to this one, but I thought it was really good. And of course, Christian Bale and ...the hot terminator/human guy were just... mind boggling. After the movie I got home around 3am and started on my homework for the last day of school for us seniors.  I finished my work around 5am, went to bed, read for an hour, then fell asleep.  I woke up at 7:35, put on jeans and walked out of the house.  I remember trying to figure out what was really happening and trying to shake the nonsense out of my head and realize what I was doing. 

Work was horrifying. I had a hunting license malfunction and the printer went to shit. I was on the phone with 2 men from DNR for about an hour for different problems (because I refused to just let it go and let the boss deal with it) and I finally figured that out, but had no time to do anything for the second half of my shift.  My bloody boss never answered her phone. I pretty much begged her to give me lenience and pleaded insanity due to senior chaos... but really it was all because my body was trying to sleep and I had to seriously put effort into doing real work.  

This is lame.

I love Hayley Hoover's hair... she's wicked awesome.

kthxbai!!!!!

... we're (a good portion of the senior class) going to perkins at 5:30 befor Graduation run through and our senior picninc. =) mymother's/my idea!

Day of Rest.

I actually had a lovely day of doing nothing today! Here's the happenings of today...

I was woken up at 5:30am to go to our church's sunrise service.  I was so utterly confused and just upset because it felt like I had just gone to sleep.  It was rotten.  So I fell asleep again.  Was woken up about ten minutes later and I blindly got up and dressed myself (somehow) and straightened my seriously messed up hair.  We got to church and were seated (in the first bloody pew) just as the bell was ringing.  The main problem with this church deal is that we don't go to church on a regular basis anymore.  After my younger brother finished confirmation we turned into "that" family that doesn't come anymore besides Christmas Eve and Easter morning.  My mother and I hate that.  I also hate our church.  It's an old congregation; old church; old ways.  We're a St. John's Luthern church. You mention a live worship band to the elders and they stare at you... I would know. ( I go to youth group at an Assemblies of God church every week as well as a camp youth group every other Sunday so I think I'm making up for missing church. hah. ) Anyway!

After church got done, my mother took me home so that I could go into work at 8 that morning.  So I did and all was well.  I checked the calendar because the person who worked last ended up leaving half of the store still on and low and behold my boss had crossed my name off to work today and put hers down. I was on time to work and possibly 5 minutes early, but I was getting settled and she still wasn't showing up, so I figured maybe she just did that absent-mindedly? Who knew? A quarter after 8 comes around and Diane (the boss-bitch) shows up and says she's scheduled to work and tells me to have a nice day off.

I don't think I would normally complain about not working, but I was absolutely ticked off.  She didn't call me to notify me that I didn't need to come in and she had changed that schedule in the last 5 days.  The owner of the bloody store doesn't need the extra holiday-working money like us minimum wage-working people do!  Our overtime isn't even all that "whoopdedoo" either; our overtime is time and a half.  I need whatever money I can get and she just snatched it away in her bitchy way this morning.  So it was easy to say that my morning was absolute shit... well... besides the sermon at church because my pastor got really emotional. I like it when he does; it gives me faith that he's not just a stiff old traditional man just doing it because "it's what you do."

Moving on.

So, after being told to go home in her polite and annoying way I drove the five minutes home complaining to my mother the situation.  I went straight upstairs when I got home, changed into my sweats and read a book in bed for about two hours.  Soon that changed into sleeping, which I was oh-so grateful for.

I made up a game in my dream, so that was a plus. And I remember it! Double plus! 

After everyone in my family took naps I helped with dinner(supper) and plastered crap on whatever blank space I had on my wall.  Supper was incredibly quiet with just my parents, brothers and grandpa.  It was nice not being in the presence of the cynical grandmother from my dad's side for once. A good break. ( I broke the news to her lately I might pursue a major in Photography or Film/Video... she responded with, "You know you have to make sure you go into something with a lot of jobs... and money." 

Finished the day off with watching TLC, the Disney Channel (Sonny with a Chance and Wizard of Waverly Place [which I never previously watched]) and the Sound of Music and also playing My Tribe and creating some creature things on the Spore Creature Creator. 

Eventful and long day.

BEDA Day 12. fin.

Long Easter Break.

So, you know those Capri Sun juices from way back when? Well, even though they're still around, they're taking on a new look.. sort of.  Instead of the weird yellow-orange and somewhat pee-like liquid they've made it "Capri Sun Roarin' Waters." And it's clear! No more pee!

Well, my mom showed up with them the other day and I've been going through 2 or 3 a day.  I've been deprived, I guess.  Every time I drink one it's like a trip down memory lane and I remember those commercials (that sadly worked) where these kids were on the beach and surfing or where ever else.  You have to remember what happened when they drank them, right? They all of a sudden changed into these metallic/chrome beings that started at their fingers and spread throughout their bodies! Well, that's where it got me.  My brother must have told me (or I convinced myself) that if you drank it fast enough your fingers would start turning metallic/chrome.  I wish I knew exactly how many times I did that and still convinced myself I wasn't drinking it fast enough or pressing my fingers down hard enough. I was a crazy child.

I am nearing the end of my servitude outside to my father and the sticks that once blanket nearly all of our yard. It's quite possible we've worked 20 hours out there with the sticks... It hasn't been fun.  At least I've been more level-headed than my brother, who went through 6 hours of work today huffing and puffing, complaining and just simply being pouty.

So that's it for today, I guess.  My mum made angel food cake. =)

.............- okay. I have a confession here.  Where those periods are I intended on typing "Good day," but the problem... was I spelled it like this "Doog" and then proceeded to backspace quickly just like every other time I don't do something right.  The point of that was... that that was weird. Completely dyslexic. Wow.

I should go to bed.

I think I will.

Good Night.

BEDA Day 11 Done.

CRAP!

AHHH!!.. i was so busy avoiding my father and watching What Not To Wear, Dirty Jobs and Say Yes to the Dress that i completely forgot. I'm obviously rushed because i'm not capitalizing my I's like i'm trying to do now to get into the habit. My grammar is following suit.

Alright.

Buti'm going to bed now.

spacing is shit too.

crap. 

BEDA day 10.... sort of happened.

Bad Day.

My day was going great actually. Absolutely wonderful. I was outside, listening to my Zune and didn't have a care in the world... until around 7.  Then the drama thing happened again and it's all really upsetting.

I was going to watch the sunset via text with my friend, but it was ruined by drama and angry words.  Now I'm not going to be getting a scholarship done that my dad is going to flip once he hears I didn't do it.

Ugh. My day was seriously flipped 180.  I have no will for anything.

Positive thought: Only twenty more days of this prison.

Negative thought: The celebration bon-fire/HuHot date with all my friends is going to be crushed by this. As well as a road trip we were all going to go on and FFA State Convention.  

At state we have to room with our team. My team consists of: the one who used to be my best friend until she turned whore and doesn't really care about anyone besides her list of guys, the one who betrayed my friend and I and I can no longer trust and finally the one who was told by the previous person that we have not been true friends to her the past 3 years.

This is going to be a bitch.

I'm going to bed.

BEDA Day 9 Done.

60.9 %... Hellz Yeah!

I never use Z's in place of S's... then again, I never say "Hellz Yeah" either.  To explain the title... I am not a proud parent of a D- in Algebra III. xD . It's a weird feeling going from failing for an entire quarter to finally getting it to work out. All my quizzes and tests are coming back at a steady 70%. As long as I pass, I guess. Even though the damn class is killing my GPA.

So, I just left to search the fridge for whatever reason (it's sadly an involuntary action now) and i found 2 packs of CapriSun! We haven't gotten them in years! I guess it would be normal to outgrow them, but goodness these are wonderful! We have grape and strawberry kiwi! I love all things strawberry kiwi.  When I was little (or just simply younger) I would take a couple and put them in the freezer and after they froze I'd cut them open and put them in the cup and eat them all icy. ...Eat them? Eat them/drink them. Either way.

As a result of my punishment I have been left to get a ride with my little brother to school in the morning.  During that 15 minute car ride I listen to my Zune in order to drown out his senseless music taste and read my book assignment for that day.  So, I barely notice what he's listening to... unless it's horribly obvious by the bass beat. It seems that everyday just as we're getting into town he turns on  song with a butt load of bass.  I have no idea what he's trying to prove in his Alero, but whatever he needs to do, I guess.

I was picking up sticks again today after school and my dad left so I started... not picking up sticks.  I was listening to the Across the Universe soundtrack and climbing over and on the multiple towering piles of tree branches in our backyard. It was really fun!  I felt like I had a soundtrack to everything I did. It was brilliant.

On that note I'm going to head out.

I'm ridiculously tired. 

It's officially my Easter break.

30 more days of high school.

This day in history...

Unappealing picture of my friends on a ferry at night in Paris.

Kelsey while we were at Versailles in France.

Visiting the Eiffel Tower at night.

BEDA Day 8. Done.

Open Your Eyes and Look North.

The title is a title of a ...Dance Gavin Dance song?... I think. Not positive on that one.

Well today was drama filled but overall pretty darn good. It was what you would call a pleasant day.  Well, besides the fact that my "best friend" refuses to even talk to me, but honestly I'm done having a fit about it. I'm done.  If she wants it sorted then she can sort it.  I'm done being the sorter. Moving on...

Tonight was the FFA Region Banquet for our region(obviously), and lets just say it didn't go so smoothly.  Lets leave it at that.  Anyway, for the Region President's Retiring Address he had some friends open up for him and they got inspiration from a video on YouTube called Kittens Inspired By Kittens (which I didn't find all too hilarious by the way) and they asked if anyone was obsessed with YouTube and I was thinking about all those who think they're obsessed... and they don't even know the hidden world of YouTube!  It's not even hidden, these funny viral video obsessors are just missing them because they only go to YouTube for the brainless laughs they'll get.  And they call themselves YouTube obsessors!  I wanted to walk up to the mic and explain to them what a vlogger was and how a good majority use YouTube to do so much good... and for laughs. =)

Anyway, that just amused me, I guess.

I should be off now. I had 3 tribes on My Tribe and one of the Tribes just completely died on me over night. =( oh well.

Oh! and Trevor Mcnevan, who is an awesome guy, plays in two bands: Thousand Foot Krutch and FM Static and the latter has actually JUST come out with a new concept album. You should check them out. =) He's a breath of fresh air.  Just music.

I seriously do love him and would love to spread that love. 

So that's all for tonight.

Have a wonderful rest of the night.... even though no one reads this and its very close to midnight.

I'm off to read Keys to the Kingdom.

BEDA Day 7. el fin.

Today in history...

The Louvre. "No humping the escalators, please."

It took us ages to find this, and Derek was relentless in our search.

My "Pride & Prejudice" shot of the French countryside.

This was in a seriously dodgy tube-car-thing (whatever they're called) so we dubbed it 'gangsterly.'

...lovely sophomore humor.